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Obama, McCain should support same-sex marriage

By Akilah Monifa, October 20, 2008

Sens. Barack Obama and John McCain see eye to eye on one issue: same-sex marriage. They’re both opposed.

They should have met Del Martin.

For 55 years, she and Phyllis Lyon were partners. Together, they helped establish the nation's first lesbian rights organization, the Daughters of Bolitis, back in 1955.

Martin and Lyon were the first couple to be married in the city of San Francisco in 2004 and again in the state of California on June 16, 2008. Martin died two months later, on Aug. 27. She was 87.

Neither Obama nor McCain has offered a rational, secular reason why these two women should not have married each other.

Lyon is eligible for California state benefits of inheritance and insurance but is denied over 1,000 federally granted benefits, including Social Security.

But now the citizens of California may posthumously annul their marriage. Same-sex marriage in California is in jeopardy because of a proposition on the Nov. 4 ballot that aims to overrule the California Supreme Court's recent granting of the right of all to marry. Same-sex marriage is also legal in Massachusetts, as well as Connecticut, after the state Supreme Court ruling there on Oct. 3.

On such a civil rights issue, I would have hoped that the presidential candidates would have taken a stand.

Instead, they ducked it, even though they made comments that seemed to recognize the validity of same-sex relationships. In his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention, Obama said regardless of how folks feel about same-sex marriage, there is universal agreement on allowing visitation rights in a hospital and not discriminating against gays and lesbians. McCain has echoed this, as did Sen. Joe Biden and even Gov. Sarah Palin in the vice presidential debate.

Del Martin spent her life fighting for equality. Early on, she understood the parallels between discrimination against blacks and discrimination against gays and lesbians. And she opposed all discrimination.

I’m confident that had Obama or McCain known her, they would have come around on this issue.

Our sons and daughters should be eligible for the full slate of state and federal rights should they chose to marry.

Del Martin’s dream should become reality.

Akilah Monifa is a freelance writer based in Oakland, Calif., where she lives with her partner and their two children. She writes about how race and sexual orientation intersect with politics, entertainment, and pop culture. She can be reached at pmproj@progressive.org.

   

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